Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence – a life sentence. To tie the knot with someone you loved so dearly is everybody’s dream. We are proud to show the world that we found our partner, for a lifetime. A ring may symbolized that one person is someone’s possession, taken, and adored.
However, in the course of time, it is sad to say that many couples split up, families broken down, and relationships torn apart. Why? Because the reality is unlike the fairy tale stories that ends up with “…they lived happily ever after”, in a married life bumpy roads are always ahead of us.
So let me share with you a short activity and some questions that we all need to consider if we have plans to get married. Please answer them in an honest way as possible, because in the end it is you who will benefit with your answers.
Step 1. While you were still single, I’m pretty sure that you have an ideal man or woman in your mind. You also dreamed of a person that has attributes that will measure up with your qualifications, right? Can you still recall those qualities that you are looking for in a mate? Please write it down because we are going to use them later. Let us call it as your Qualification List.
Step 2. Now, imagine you are still in a courtship stage, which means you are not engaged yet, try to list down top 10 qualities that you like about your partner and label it as your partner’s Quality List. Then compare them with the qualities that you have written down earlier.
Step 3. Evaluate your lists. After you have written down the Quality List about your partner and compared it with your Qualification List, what did you find? Did he or she passed your qualifications?
Please note that what you have written down in your Qualification List and Quality List were all positive things.
Question: Did you consider some of his or her negative side before writing down the good qualities? Will all of your lover’s good qualities cover up for his or her negative side?
Here’s another thing to consider in your Quality List. I would ask you to override the 10th quality and write there the word IMPERFECTION.
Question: Are you willing to sacrifice for the rest of your life just to fill that IMPERFECTION up with your good qualities? Are you going to forget about the first 9 qualities just because he or she is imperfect?
This is just a very short activity yet if you are going to sit and think about it seriously, certainly you will reap a lot of benefits when the right time comes.